this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
