Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
