operation harelip BJ is a go
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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