I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
This toilet bowl is my home.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
