I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
