okay pat passed out under dana's car
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
