oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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