Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
His hands were made for my vagina.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
