It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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