Even the bartender felt bad for me
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
