soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
So many bounce houses so little time
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
