I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
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