The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
