That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
