woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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