Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
