I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Are my feet made of real feet?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I didn't notice because vodka
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Randomize
