im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
