White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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