He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
