my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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