My friends, they love my intelligence
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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