let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
