well I can't set my house on fire every night
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
