She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
