I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize