We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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