okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
