when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
