I met the friendliest cop last night
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
