did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
