Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
