he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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