So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm just crazy horny about you
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
