Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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