I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
