I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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