So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
