onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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