did you get engaged???
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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