Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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