wat bout pragnant strippers??
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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