he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
