Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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