fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 ðŸžðŸ·
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
