My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
