He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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