i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
