I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
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I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
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This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm just crazy horny about you
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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