do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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