I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
