Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
