Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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