Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
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