Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
