Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
