Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
