i may or may not be watching the land before time
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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