Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
