Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize