After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Randomize